Being Tired & Having Kids: AKA being better at being tired and having kids

I’m tired, I’m really, really tired.  I’m in upper management at a major shipping company and it’s Christmas.  By the end of the day I’m exhausted.  I get home and all the way home I think about getting in bed and just going to sleep for the night as soon as I hit the door. I’m really tired but I’m a mom and that’s not really an option. So, as soon as I hit the door there are immediate concerns that need to be addressed: There are cardboard castles that need to be built and imaginations that need to be watered and books to be read and food that needs to be fed to growing little bodies. So that nap, yep, it just keeps getting pushed back and by the time its time to put this little growing child of mine to bed I always think I’m ready and I’ll have some “me” time and then fall asleep or just fall asleep and make that my “me” time. But something weird always happens when I’m rocking him in my arms to sleep.  It’s our little quiet time of the day.  This full of energy, non-stop boy is still for a minute in my arms and we smile at each other and I rub his head and hair and when he’s finally drifting off my to sleep soul never screams YES, (like an hour ago I thought it would) it always whispers, “just a few more minutes.” This bitter sweet flood comes over me where I want a little more time. I hope he opens his eyes just one more time and smiles before I have to lay him down or pass out on top of him from exhaustion.  Sometimes I’m so tired my eyes are rolling and sinking right along with his but, there is always that feeling.  So many times in these quiet moments I think of my Nana and I hope its because she’s somehow surrounding us.   Sometimes I think of the veins at the back of her legs and sometimes I think of her hands or her clavicle bones at the base of her neck. Sometimes I just try to remember her smell and her hugs and the type of hair spray she used but shes always in these sweetest stillest moments lately.  Maybe I’m sleep deprived and half sick and delirious but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  I would however trade it for a few more less tired moments exactly like these but that’s about it. Maybe its been so much like this the last two months because she always made Christmas time special and she’s in my mind always this time of year.  I don’t know but for some reason it seems to make a special moment of the day even a little more special with thoughts of her after my son is pure passed out in my arms and I have to make myself lay him down when I really want to just sit in that chair and cuddle him all night. (run on sentence, I know, but lots of run on feelings in that sentence.) I don’t want to forget these moments.  I’m tired so I might not remember my purse or keys in the morning but I don’t want to forget this.  Moms all over the world are tired and lots are probably a lot more tired than me, so I count my blessings.  I know no matter how tired we are its clinging to little moments that get us through.  Moment present or past that make us better, that make us keep pushing. Clinging to moments of quiet or moments from years ago that are giving power to our everyday, the metaphorical coffee for tired moms everywhere, little moments that renew and refresh a tired body and spirit.

Merry Christmas just in case I don’t get back before then.

Beth

Accountability Post – trying to work out with a one year old and a full time job. #reallife

Accountability post: today I had a plan. It was a good plan. I was mentally prepared and everything was ready for me to do my workout at lunch. Then 30 min before lunch my boss called a meeting that lasted 2 hours. My plan was shot. I was down about it but decided as soon as I walked in the door at home I was going to work out. I got home. My kid was tired my husband had to leave for work his diaper was full (not my husbands obviously my kids) and he needed a bottle and a nap. Again I was determined as soon as I got him down for his nap I would go do my work out. Well.. I fell asleep with him trying to get him to sleep. Because this momma goes to work at 4am and she was tired. I woke up discouraged and knew I just had one more shot at getting a workout in before starting supper feeding him and bathing him and getting in bed. I got 15 min done before my almost 1 year old demanded my attention. Two hours later after another bottle a bath and getting him in bed I finished my workout. Today didn’t go as planned and I would usually just say I’ll try again tomorrow but I pushed through it and I feel so much better. life right now……

I drew this after the workout.  My son literally sat on my head and pulled my hair and or banged me in the head with a block the majority of the workout.

 

My Banana – 20 Weeks Pregnant

June 1st and I’m 20 weeks.  Everyone is asking for baby bump pictures and I realize I haven’t taken any.  Quite honestly I have just felt fat.  I know its supposed to be magical but its been me being sick and not fitting into anything.  Its getting better though because I’m feeling the baby move more, the last three days he has been very active.  I’m picking up this blog post like it hasn’t been forever since I wrote because I don’t have time to explain to you what you already know.  Life gets out of control and busy. I am somewhat paranoid about gaining too much weight and not being able to loose it when I should be worried with stuff like the baby room and what am I going to freaking do about my job?!! So I indulge myself a little and slap myself back to reality other days.  Here is something I have found has helped as I have increased in size and my belly starts to grow – KT tape.  I’ll upload a picture to show how I have used it to support my belly when it feels heavy. I have also started using it up higher where my stomach muscles come together because of my growing fear of Diastasis Recti.  At 20 weeks my uterus is just reaching for my belly button but when I eat too much it feels like the possibility of my muscles just splitting right up the middle is totally a reality – Kind of like a banana peel splits apart when peeled.  NOT COOL. OK so less about me and more about my banana boy this week.  He’s been knocking around inside me a lot more lately.  Usually I am feeling him from 10am to noon and then again in the afternoon when I lay down around 9 or 10 pm.  So I’ll try to keep little updates going and I’m stepping outside my comfort zone and posting a baby bump picture that is not so great because everyone says someday you will wish you had lots of pictures. I guess I’ll start at the half way point and try and mark my progress. Its hard to not want to Photoshop the crap out of this picture and make myself look thinner and prettier but here ya go….

ROASTED GARLIC IN THE MICROWAVE?! Is it really possible?

So as I was flipping through some recipes I found step by step instructions on roasted garlic in the microwave and had to give it a try! I bookmarked it and just had the chance to try it out last night. Mine worked like a charm and took 2min. Of course you miss out on all the great flavor in the bottom of the pan but in a hurry this is the way to go! I wanted to make sure and give credit to this great site so check out the website and the whole pasta salad recipe here @budget bites
Below is the excerpt from the recipe on how to roast the garlic. Very good to know, very easy and I will be a return customer on this quick trick.
Step By Step Photo

To cook the garlic in the microwave, begin by cutting a little off the top of the head to expose the cloves

Place the head of garlic in a small dish and drizzle about half a tablespoon of olive oil over the exposed coves. This will keep them from burning.

Place an inverted plate over top of your bowl or dish. Microwave on high, in one minute increments, until the garlic is soft and very fragrant. Mine took two minutes and after that it began to burn (even when I added water to the dish). The garlic will hiss and pop during cooking, and some of the cloves may jump out of the head!

When it’s finished, it will be soft, kind of mushy, and it will smell really REALLY good. The cloves will be about the same color as they were fresh, but they will look slightly transparant. Allow the garlic to cool.

Once it’s cool enough to handle, squeeze the garlic cloves out of the head and mince them. They’ll likely be pretty sticky.

Add to your dish and it will result in the same flavor as pan roasting. Pretty awesome!

Replacing empty

If I had to wipe every bit of sunshine off my face.
I would gladly do it,
to give you some space,
to smile.
To pour into you what I have that stretches for miles.
To replace what you can’t even fit into vials.
_beth_

Blind America

And number one
means nothing now,
since you brought home the prize cow.
And pies have nothing on your recipe…
of happy and family.
Of Duncan Hines,
and fat behinds,
of mortgages,
and greener times.
No IRS or insurance ties.
No living life in peaceful times.
Just keep selling lies,
just keep America blind.
~ Beth ~

Stress is a major downer!

Stress is reeking havoc on my immune system.  Apparently getting married, moving, and changing jobs are three of the top five most stressful things on the stressful things list 🙂 The weird thing is my body knew I was under stress before I ever realized it.  I’m pretty much a go with the flow happy kinda girl for the most part so I really didn’t understand that I was under stress until my body started reacting to it.  I started literally getting sick. I had a fever blister break out on my lip and felt all together awful.  Like this: we were driving in the car looking for houses and I could literally feel myself starting to get sick.  Now Im usually the suck it up and stop your whining kinda girl but my body refused to listen to what my mind was telling it.  Very frustrating! So I started reading about this stuff and stress is a killer and attacks your body and I am actively working on finding some relaxation time to stop this crazy cycle of getting sick and feeling bad.  I took a bubble bath last night and I am making sure I am eating regularly and getting extra sleep.  I am mad that somehow this snuck up on me and I got stressed out without realizing it.  I read some jokes today and laughed because I’m pretty sure stress hates laughter so Im attacking it every chance I get.  Yoga classes next week and plenty of fluids.  Maybe some tea? I dont know.  ANYONE GOT ANY TIPS ON HOW TO BEAT STRESS WHEN YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU HAD IT?? HELP!

Poorly built pedestals of happiness

I wish I could pry your mouth open with both my hands, around your slippery lips and sharp teeth, pulling till I made a little space. And then I’d drop it in, hold your mouth shut till you licked your nose and swallowed. I would watch your cheeks distort and roll into creases and lines as they pulled back stretching toward your ears. Your lips sliding glossy over your gums as the corners of your mouth reached towards heaven. Your round eyes would disappear into little slits of happy sunshine slices. The cervical vertebra slanted backwards with the spinal cords support sending synapses of sunshine straight to your epiphysis cerebri. I wish I could resonate in a tone that shook you with happiness. I wish I could push it on you or pry it into you. I wish I could wrap it up and give it to you and when your cold or lonely you could climb into it like a bright yellow cave. I wish I could shove it so far down your throat you’d never stop smiling but I can’t reach your mouth from way up here without falling. Maybe it’s worth climbing down to have a better look around your face.

Morning Motivation

This one little messy corner of my kitchen propels my life forward every morning. Thank God for coffee!
#thecoffeewhisperer #coffee #coffeewhisperer #liquidmodavation

Hey there drama junkies

I used to do drama. I searched for that crap like it was a prize egg at a Easter egg hunt. If I couldn’t find it I created it. If peace and order would start to pronounce itself I would spit it out like a bad taste. A piece of advice from a former drama queen? Run as fast as you can in the opposite direction from the first sign of drama. It’s like a virus if your around someone with it it’s pretty likely you might get it too. If your a drama junkie don’t hang out with other drama users. The first step in solving your drama junkie problem is admitting you have one. Yes, I’m kinda joking and no I’m really not. It can fill your life with real problems and our mouths are powerful weapons of creation or destruction. If you are tired and you want a little peace of mind start eliminating drama. First rule of drama elimination. Don’t talk about drama, the second rule is never talk about drama! Another words stop talking about people and stop participating in listening to others talk about people. No gossiping! If you have a problem this first step is a hard step. Third step: eliminate drama creators. It’s harder because sometimes it means life changes you might not be ready to make. Sometimes it simply means no longer arguing with someone and keeping your mouth closed or walking away. Either way hard step. If your a drama junkie good luck it’s a long hard road to peace but from a former drama queen: your queen of nothing and it’s worth the climb down off your imaginary throne.