I’m closing a loose hand over a clinched fist
Trying to keep the pain at arms length.
Im hiding from you the best of the broke parts
All the fabulous gorilla glued fractures of my heart.
I’m sweeping big fat shards under super skinny rugs.
I’m swaying and dancing thru the side glances and shrugs
My processed head in the air
Twirling with a production of great care
No one knows about my vibrating underwear
Or that no sailor could match how I swear.
I’m a big fat, skinny, celebrity,
And anyone would trade places with me…
And jump off a building as quick as could be.
Before you go lusting after my life,
Know I’ll never get to be just a wife,
And that, I get to envy in you.
My chances at normal are little and few.
Remember to be thankful and let it shine thu,
Because the truth is I really wish I was you.
Monthly Archives: March 2015
This dream has been with me all day. I can’t shake the feeling that it was very important. I have never had a dream like this. I had a dream last night that I died. I was shot in the head and before it happened in the dream I was aware it was fixing to happen. In my dream I remember thinking I am fixing to die in this dream and in the dream I was telling myself to remember how it felt to die so when I woke up I would know and I kept telling myself in the dream that it was ok. I knew I was dreaming. At the same time I was thinking this the dream was still going on. I was arguing with someone and we both had guns. I knew they were fixing to shoot me and that my gun was empty but I was bluffing and acting like my gun had bullets. Also I remember moths crawling on the walls. There were lots of them, they were brown and they were in cocoons stuck to the wall. They were constantly breaking the cocoon and either flying away or crawling around on the wall. They weren’t creepy in the dream and I remember thinking I needed to call an exterminator in my mind in the dream. These things all seemed to be going on simultaneously. The moment came when the person I was arguing with was fixing to shoot. They were close to my head and it felt like the dream slowed down when they pulled the trigger. As the bullet came towards my head I had the thought of I died in my dream I might not wake up. Then it hit me. I was concentrating hard to remember what it felt like to die. Everything felt spongy and waved and then like static on a tv but the static was light. Then all the light static started separating up in waves around the dream world. It was very bright and then another dream started immediately. I thought I might have woke up but I didn’t. I did become really aware I was sleeping but then bounced into the next dream. It was completely different. I sometimes have vivid dreams but this was so weird. If anyone has any interpretation on this I would really love to hear it. I always thought you couldn’t die in your dreams guess that’s not true.