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Wedding picture with parents

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Just got this shot back from the photographer and I love it so much! Nicks parents are on his side and mine are on my side. Great picture layout.
By: Kali Davenport

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Getting hitched in a barn

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So yep I’m getting married in a barn. I know barn weddings are kinda something people are doing these days but this one isn’t some old barn we are renting. It’s on my family’s farm. That’s been in our family since the civil war and its a hay barn my Great grandfather built. My pop kept this as a working farm at one time but now it just has family living out here. I don’t know why I never do things the easy way but I decided I wanted my wedding in that barn and it has been a heck load of stress and work. BUT it’s finally coming together and today I stepped back and took this picture and almost started crying. It’s exactly how I imagined it… Almost. It’s not done yet but I can see hope. I always take the hardest way possible in everything but this is such a treasure to me. One of my best memories as a child was that barn stacked full of hay and jumping from bail to bail until I collapsed from exhaustion on top of a stack of hay. I bet my Pop never would have imagined chandeliers and a dance floor. I love this land so much it brings tears to my eyes and I know I love it because I can feel my ancestors hovering here. I have fallen down on my knees many times on this land and marveled at the beauty of God. How it almost seems he is running his hand over the red tops of the clover at times when the wind catches them just right. I know God is in this land and this barn as much or more than any church I have ever entered. I know in my heart it’s the only place I would ever want to pledge my life to a man before my God and my family. It’s as much a part of me as my hand or head or heart. I wish I had a before picture and will try to find one and post it but here is one with it half way done. I just wish it was scratch and sniff and you could smell the fresh hay and sweet budding clover to make the picture complete. This time next Saturday it will be all finished and ready for a wedding. Eeeekkkkkk, I’m very excited!

Life decisions… Moving, marriage, mission statements

So the week before the wedding is here and really I thought I would be nervous but I’m not at all. I’m excited and can’t wait. We made a decision on a school for Nick to get his PHD…LSU! Neither one of us thought that would be it but we prayed and fasted and talked and then still didn’t know what to do. I wanted it to be Arkansas or Montana. So Friday Nick said we would write each other an e-mail and put our thoughts about it down and make a decision and we both sent our e-mail to each other at one o’clock. I was at work and he was at school. And it’s so weird that both of our e-mails were almost exactly alike. I said I never had a good feeling about Indian and even though I thought Montana would be an adventure I was marking it off too because I just didn’t feel anything about it. That I thought Arkansas would be amazing because Fayetteville is beautiful and it’s the kinda town I would love to live in and I really wanted it to be Arkansas but for some reason my heart was pulling me towards LSU in Baton Rouge even though its not a place I really thought I would want to live. It’s similar to Beaumont and I think we both wanted a change. But I felt led there. So I choose LSU. I didn’t even know that would be my choice. It’s like I didn’t want it to be but it was. His e-mail said almost exactly the same thing as mine. Indiana and Montana were out and he wanted it to be Arkansas but he felt the most peace about LSU. I’m so glad we did that, it was so neat to see how alike the e-mails are and it settled it once and for all. Now we get to be excited and start planning our move… Oh yeah right after this wedding next Saturday.

Grateful & thankful & aware

I though I already posted this last week but found it in my “draft” folder so I’m posting it a week later but right on time:

This morning sitting on the porch at my parents farm I watched a group of small birds land and peck around in all their bouncy beauty. I remembered a scripture. Mathew 6:26 “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” This fell perfectly on my heart because yesterday was my wedding shower and as I opened many of those gifts they were replacements for either things that had just broken or were on their last leg. Most of my kitchen stuff is hand me downs from my parents from the 70’s. My mixer, as amazing as it is, is from my great grandmother and is on the verge of being a fire hazard. (One of those great big old sunbeam mixers) I didn’t even realize it until I started opening all those blessings how bad off what I have been making due with is. Now why in the world would God want me to go into a brand new marriage with stuff that was old and falling apart. So many times I have received just what I needed right on time that I know it’s God supplying not only my needs but abundantly more. Because I’m that much more valuable to him! I wish it was so easy for me to always blindly trust without worry like those simple birds. But with knowledge it seems trust must be learned as much as earned. I am grateful and thankful and aware.

Beard shots

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I love my mans beard. He’s letting it grow out for our wedding, I have no idea why but its so sexy to me.

Wedding dress fitting

Today I have my wedding dress fitting! They are putting a corset back into my dress. My mom came down to go with me and it will just be us two going. That’s kind of exciting in itself, we never get to spend time with just me and her. That’s all I have to say. I just wanted to document this day, this morning, this buzzy feeling of excitement. Have a great day world.

this mansion i know about

So yep im getting married. and i havent posted anything about it because i was like, well i don’t want this to all the sudden turn into a wedding blog and it be all about wedding this and wedding that, but this is my blog and it is about me so i’ll be sharing stuff about my wedding because my little heart is so excited i have to open the valve and let a little joy out so i don’t explode. me and my physicist have dated for a little over five years now and we are two oppositely perfect matches. He’s Science and practically and Im Art and irrationality. it works so well. we balance each other like a scale. he has helped me organize my scatterbrain and i have help scatter his organized brain, just a bit in the right direction both ways. he’s a godsend and I’m blessed that he puts up with me. in so many ways we have changed and grown and challenged each other to become better people over these last five years. we sometimes are amazed at where we started. I was just rediscovering who i was after a long period in my life of running from that task. I think i had to find that peace inside my self to be alone with me and like hanging out with me before i could fall into someone else again. i really didn’t have much to offer anyone before i got to that spot in life. i was just a person looking for one distraction after the next to keep me from looking at myself. i remember never wanting to be alone, almost a panic feeling of having to find something to do or somewhere to go. its kinda exhausting running from yourself. when it happened and the bottom of my life fell out and all i had was me and god i finally found out the thing i had been running from was the one thing i had been searching for. its tough when the front of the house looks all perfect and manicured for everyone to admire but you open the door and that beautiful place is so full off junk that you would never notice the architecture, i guess i think of a hoarder. like that show where they go clean these peoples houses out and you see them crying over a scrap of paper or a broken rubber band, its that hard to part with each little piece of that junk when they start taking stuff out to throw away. i felt like i was that scenario, but with emotions and deeds and sins being my scraps of paper and rubber bands that I was in the front yard crying about. You hate someone for 7 years and then try to throw that out in one day. Its not going to happen without some resistance, you hold those negative feelings like they are some blanket keeping you warm. I’m a witness that they are not, they are walls of junk keeping you from walking through the halls of your inner self. I had a lot of walls. Something strange happened as I cleaned out myself, i started remembering who i was. I started doing art again and writing in my journal. i found peace being alone in total silence. I found joy in myself. These were things i hadn’t done since before high school. I’m totally a work in progress so ill probably always be finding closets full metaphorical clutter that i have overlooked or filled up without noticing. So all this long post to say i met my balance, my Nick, right around the time i was cleaning out the second floor of my little inner house. It was perfect timing and it proceeded slow enough for me to get used to the idea that i wasn’t the same person going into this relationship that i had been going into others. from the started i made the choice that no matter where things went with us i would be respectful to him. i wanted a different approach at this relationship. i wanted God in it. Its a strange thing when you don’t know what that looks like and it starts to happen. i spent the first year trying to figure out why it was so different than my other relationships and why none of the old rules applied. i finally realized i wasn’t the same person that i had been. i felt a bit sad for my past relationships because in truth i hadn’t been completely present in them. i probably missed out on a lot being so busy at being selfish. I cant wait to get married to my perfect balance. I know its been said a thousand times and sounds so trite but he’s my best friend. Ill post few things about the wedding as we go but i wanted to put a little foundation down today i guess. I probably wont turn my blog into a wedding blog for the next six months or anything but I’m sure its going to seep out around the edges a bit. If anyone reads this thanks.
Beth

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