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Celebrity Girl

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Celebrity Girl

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I’m closing a loose hand over a clinched fist
Trying to keep the pain at arms length.
Im hiding from you the best of the broke parts
All the fabulous gorilla glued fractures of my heart.
I’m sweeping big fat shards under super skinny rugs.
I’m swaying and dancing thru the side glances and shrugs
My processed head in the air
Twirling with a production of great care
No one knows about my vibrating underwear
Or that no sailor could match how I swear.
I’m a big fat, skinny, celebrity,
And anyone would trade places with me…
And jump off a building as quick as could be.
Before you go lusting after my life,
Know I’ll never get to be just a wife,
And that, I get to envy in you.
My chances at normal are little and few.
Remember to be thankful and let it shine thu,
Because the truth is I really wish I was you.

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This flesh

This flesh makes me so selfish. I can feel it tugging and wanting it’s way. They say my only recourse is to pray. It’s always inching towards it’s doom holding hands with time and writing letters to the tomb but it won’t cease one second till it’s rotting and resting, Something always clicking turning and manifesting. I refresh, then I tire, flip over repeat. A big pile of mess squashed in flesh meat. I feel it tugging wanting it’s way.

Love is a good thing

It’s a good thing to feel loved, to be loved and to give love. It’s the finest of all the good things. It’s the golden thread. It’s beauty built inside that shines out. It’s the finest of the finest of all the best of things that exists.

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A bar for all those dreams you can’t remember

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I guess if there was a bar where all the dreams that you forgot went to have a beer and talk about you and re-tell all the things you forgot about them, then that’s where all the in- between feelings would be comfortable hanging out. Like this: I was trying to put a word on it but it’s something that’s in between everything. The pauses and the breaks and open ended looks. All those little places and feelings sandwiched between the moments when one feeling changes to another. Nobody took the time to name them, they are gone before they begin. A strange place to live in or get stuck at…a feeling between feelings with no words to explain. I’m sure they would be comfortable with all the dreams I can’t remember. The feeling of existing but not being named or remembered.

Press me harder

Your with me like the wet on my tongue
the arch of my back
the rise of my calf
the memories of young
the stretch of my arm
the breadth of my chest
the aching for rest
Where do I hide
with you buried inside
the marrow of my bones
the blood of my bodily home
the bend of my knee
the fold of my soul
the depth of my eye
the crease of my cheek
Even at night in my brain while I sleep
your bumping around the corners of me
introducing yourself to new parts of me
The curl of my hair
the nape of my neck
the flex of my wrist
the twitch in my chest
Your swallowing all of my inches of self
till your with me always and Im no longer myself

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Quiet spaces

In all the quiet pauses I hear music.

A little bit obscure

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And you touch me from a thousand miles away,
And fill my veins with gold.
Make my hands heavy as stones.
No price is as good as riches stole,
No gift as good as a freely given soul.
And when my energy shouts into the blackness
No sound returned
I know you get what you earn.
In wealth or love or all the above
It’s not about the total, its about the sum.

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